For Keeps
by Necklace of Raindrops
Summary: Dark Rockman will do anything to get what he wants. Rockman will do anything to stop him. This can't be good for the object of their attention. [random oneshots]
1. For Keeps

For Keeps

You know who it is - steady footsteps echoing deliberately - before you even turn around.

_(After all, he was birthed from you and, though you don't want to admit it and he is in complete denial, neither of you have yet found a way to cut the umbilical cord that trembles between you. _(He says you are the parasite feeding off him, you say it's the other way round. Naturally, you both refuse to believe that it is a two way process.)_ You wonder if he notices how the pain builds the further you move from one another, how the cord pulls taut and rip, rips at both of your hearts/souls/something else completely, so instead you come together and fight _(it feels natural, you are the two halves/opposites of a whole and you are destined to love/hate)_ to hack this connection free in bright spurts of data.)_

"Just thought I'd warn you," a smirk, cold dark arrogance _(you refuse to believe that you were ever like this before an opponent) _"Netto belongs to me."

And this is serious. _(You're not that possessive…are you? Well, actually you are. You really are.)_

Because you're not giving up Netto to anyone, least of all your psychotic dark side

Because Netto would never _(willingly)_ leave you _(would he?)_ or Enzan or Laika or Meiru or anyone whom he can protect to go to the side you've been fighting so hard against.

And because this is and always has been either you or him, light or dark, good or evil, to the end. You don't quite have your operator _(brother's...dare you think that?) _level of optimism to believe that you can both co-exist.

And neither of you are willing to share a thing _(least of all, Netto)._

* * *

I'm sorry! I've completely warped Rockman's kind, forgiving personality into this. I'm just relying on my believe that under Rockman's fluffy mother hen side lurks a whole world of pain for anyone that even attempts to hurt Netto. 


	2. Cry Me a River

Cry Me a River

Netto's smiles are pretty - but his tears are beautiful.

It's easy to receive one of Netto's smiles, he'll pull up his lips and bare his teeth at anyone and anything, but to force him to such a level of emotion and to have such a strong bond with Netto that he would shed precious tears…

Dark Rockman has tasted it once and he wants it again more than anything.

_(He chooses to believe that those tears were for him, he can not bear to recognise that those tears fell only for the mask he wore and how Netto's face changed when he, the actor, was revealed. And just how did Netto see through him? What did he do wrong?) _

He doesn't want Netto's grins, his sunshine, (_Netto will never smile at_ _him anyway, only ever at his false skin that will close around and choke him until he is forced to shed it) _because as he is, and only ever can be the darkness, such light will destroy him. He wants to cover Netto's sun with storm clouds and dance in Netto's rain, raise his arms to the heavens, tilt back his head and taste the drops of salty, sweet, sweet victory. _Don't you see everyone? Aren't you looking my pathetic other half? Netto will grin at you anytime, but only for me will his eyes shed soul birthed liquid._

If he can't have Netto's smile, he will have Netto's tears instead.


	3. Prey

Prey

It's a large warehouse and there's a fair distance between where he stands, a shadow pulled into three dimensional perceptions, and you, but that doesn't stop you from feeling the full force of his gaze like a physical blow.

The sheer intensity in his eyes…it's almost a tangible force, something dense that prickles against your skin and creates a faintly metallic tang against your tongue, ripping all other thought away until there's only blood and starless night skies and…

_I want you._

Some deep primordial part of yourself recognises it. Remembers a simplified world, predator or prey and you know which role you are - clammy hands, cold sweat, heart stuttering a beat to quiver in its bone cage.

Such desperate, burning _hunger._

He is darkness and that by its very nature is absence. He wants to be whole, but he won't accept his other half to do that, so he'll take you instead. Consume you, eat away at everything you are to try and fill the endless void that is his existence.

_I promise you,_ _someday you'll be mine._

And the most frightening thing is that when you look into his eyes - you almost believe him.


	4. To Find Thyself

To Find Thyself

He does not examine himself too closely _(there is the carefully hidden away terror that there is in fact no himself, only him) _after all, what exactly can he call his own? Not this structure, not even his own memories or name, for there are cracks beneath it all through which doubt seeps and murmurs that these are all just borrowed _(stolen, borrowed suggests that he will one day return them, which he will never willingly do)._

Perhaps when he reaches out to out to attack his other half, to slip his fingers around that temptingly exposed _(his own) _neck, his hands will simply fall through him like smoke _(ghosts, that which is nothing cannot touch). _Shall he just be a nightmare, a passing shadow from which the world will quickly wake and brush aside? Will he be forgotten so easily?

No, it will not be so. He shall not allow it to be so. He will not simply be made by others, by what is left within and without him by other halves and the whims of insane geniuses who should have died long ago. He will take Rockman's stubbornly human foundation and build what he can truly call _himself _upon it.

He must. Or he will truly crumble into nothing.

* * *

Last sentence, first paragraph? I have quite the fondness for irony. 

I was going to try and make all these oneshots into a sort-of-but-very-vaguely-connected-squint-or-you'll-miss-it series but my ideas don't seem to want to follow that, I'm getting them all over the place and not in any kind of order, so I hope no one will mind that I am now declaring these oneshots all pretty much completely random from now onwards but if you stil want to try and look for connections between them be my guest :3


	5. Ownership

This is, of course, just me playing around with Dark Rockman's twisted mind, it has absolutely nothing to do with me getting a metaphor stuck in my brain, dragging it out for far too long and somehow pulling Dark Rock in as well kicking and screaming. Nu-uh.

The third to last paragraph is for Youkomon ;3

* * *

Ownership

He half reminds you of a dog, beaten and broken on the floor, yet with his hackles still raised, eyes burning and his teeth half bared in a snarl.

He is so pig headed your operator _(although that suggests that he is superior to you, which is laughable. You would prefer to say former operator and soon _(you will make it soon) _partner in crime, even, and your aspirations are this high, ruler, King…which ever title takes his fancy)._

It is, you believe, a suitable metaphor you have chosen for your operator. He is almost the personification of a dog, fiercely loyal and protective of those he cares about, ready to fight and die for them, and in the next minute carefree playfulness. Here, where he crouches before you on the floor, tense and defiant despite his injuries the lines between stray dogs and slightly feral operators begin to blur _(because humans are just animals in the end when you peel away the shiny polish of society and conditioning - especially when they are cornered and desperate). _

You briefly wonder whether he'd try ripping your throat out if you gave him the chance. Some morbid part of you wants to try it, to come close and bare your neck to those half uncovered teeth and challenge him. Are you strong enough, do you hate me enough to do this? Do you care about those I might hurt, the ones I will hurt, the ones I have hurt, enough to do this? Am I so evil that you must do this?

If you must confess, there is also a certain curiosity within you as to how it would feel, the sharp enamel press of molar and canine and incisor. To have the unique print of Netto's teeth like a badge of ownership written over your skin.

_(Ownership goes two ways. If you mark something as your own, you obviously have power over it. You possess it. But you also give that thing power over you. It comforts you if it is there; it pains you if it lost. _

_Someday you will have full power over him, but for now you are happy to give him a small amount of power over you. For now you want to know that he cares about you enough,__ even if that attention is hatred, to mark you as his own)._


	6. Mantra

Ugh... all I have to say is one word. Coursework.

* * *

Mantra

_Ihateyou,hateyou,hateyou…_

Such a harsh, sharp edged mantra, and you hold it coiled, wedged in a lump in your throat and sheathed just out of sight behind your teeth, below your tongue. It's so easy to be content with not-quite-enough when the real thing's not there, to follow echoes in the hope of finding the person you lost.

_Ihateyou,hateyou,hateyou…_

"I won't force you to follow me." Such a gentle voice, like a scarlet thread that you could follow through labyrinth _(but it doesn't lead out, it leads to the heart of the maze, to the beast. Remember that. Ihateyou,hateyou,hateyou…_

_Don't forget. Don't forgive)._

"You're not hurting me through this, Netto. You're only hurting your self." He's so quick, you started backing away too late, and he's uncurling your hand before you think to clench it shut.

Bloody sunsets imprinted on your palm and you didn't realize your nails were that long. Just how are you going to explain these? A thumb gliding over your palm so softly, you barely notice it.

"I hate to see you doing this to yourself Netto." So soft, he seems so sincere, so concerned… He's so close, your hands burn, your throat constricts…

"Find me when you want the pain to go away. I'll be waiting." Gone. Like mist drawn apart in the bright morning sunlight.

You've forgotten your mantra.


	7. Isometric

Isometric - 1) Of or exhibiting equality in measurements or dimensions. 2) (in a crystal system) Having three mutually perpendicular equal axes. 3) A graph showing the relationship between two quantities when a third quantity is held constant.

_(Such a strange dance, not even you know all the moves.)_

Some days you are a line and the two outward points play tug of war with the point in the middle.

_(You must pick a single partner, there will always be a stone eyed observer. Which to choose: the executioner, who holds a dagger behind his back and will tenderly adjust a noose around your neck, or the doctor with leeches and well intentioned poison?) _

Some days you are a triangle and the points are equal.

_(Now, slip from one partner to the other, move fast then slow as the beat dictates, move close, twirl, then dart away and a quick bow before you are gone again.) _

Some days you are a circle and there are no distinguishable points. In the chase, the endless loop, you can forget yourselves and a conclusion is just as far away as ever.

_(Ring a ring o' roses, we all fall down.)

* * *

_Who would have thought it? Dictionaries can be inspirational! 


	8. The Fates

One school production, some coursework and the fact that I am far too easily distracted and the internet is very distracting... Sorry to everyone who's stuck with me so far for the wait.

* * *

The Fates

_(Three Goddesses in Greek mythology who manipulated the threads of life. __Clotho selected the thread, Lachesis measured it, and Atropos cut this thread to signify the end of a person's existence.- http/)_

Dark Rockman knows he is the ultimate paradox. Evil ripped from good, and though he tries to be who he is expected to be, _(something despicable)_ (something pitiable Rockman's eyes say) alone he looks into himself and sees rifts. This is who he should be… and that is the echo (voice) that murmurs… what do you really want? Is loneliness worth it? 

Regal will try his best to stitch him back together, but Dark Rockman just wants to tell him it's futile, that Regal's thread is too worn and frayed to support them both. Dark Rockman realises what Regal is too blinded by his arrogance to acknowledge, that no one's thread lasts forever. Somewhere, in the black emptiness of Regal's eyes, he thinks he sees the reflection of two silver blades poised, waiting… 

He is the ultimate contradiction. Wanting to be seen, yet continually watching from the obscurity of shadows, torn between the need to protect and destroy, clawing to life and yet rushing towards what will destroy him. 

Netto draws him in helplessly, and there is a flicker of empathy in Enzan and Laika's closed _(open) _eyes _(he will undo you far before you ever undo him). _Memories of being by that energy and laughter make something inside him ache, and rip a few more stitches loose. _(I am Regal's toy he thinks. Now I shall see what my stuffing is made of. Probably nothing more unique or expensive than well thumbed lies, darkness and insanity). _Netto, who looks at him as though nothing is decided, as though their threads have not already been measured and are not, even now, passing through cold, calculating hands. Who wears his heart on his sleeve and throws out meaningless things like "forgiveness" and "friendship". Dark Rockman inches forward despite himself, _(if I fall against you for support, you will cut me straight open)_ and wishes he could move back and still keep a measure of dignity. Yet, that is the one thing he does not know how to do. He is _(sinful) _full of pride and even if he will shame himself with quiet, traitorous thoughts _(and in Regal's eyes the blades plunge together like long separated lovers…) _he will not retreat. 

Netto gives him a tentative smile and reaches out across the void.

Dark Rockman wonders if anyone else can hear the _snip_ of scissor blades. 


End file.
